Whose Counting

The past two days of deluge from the heavens was much needed for our dry land, but it also brought more than just help to my flowers. Yesterdays downpours were so hard I had to pull over and wait many times for a clearer view of the road. The slower driving pace allowed me time to reflect on the happenings of my small-town world which these past few days has been all about getting older.
One of my dear friends, Jean Ruckman, is celebrating her 80th birthday this week which takes her into an age bracket which these days is just the beginnings of older age. The church family and a few other close friends surprised her with a party and as I looked around the room I realized how many of my friends are all over 80; Jean this makes you a youngster. It's becoming nothing to be 90 these days. I asked my neighbor Bill Corbitt a few weeks ago what it felt like to turn 90 (really such a silly question) and he didn't really have an answer other than he couldn't believe it himself. "I never really thought I would live this long," he said in amazement. Both he and Jean told me they really quit counting the birthdays a long time ago.
The chronological age really doesn't matter; although it is an amazing milestone to hit those big numbers and a cause for celebration. But again looking around the room I decided I must get busy and spend some quality time with these people. The sad reality is that the odds are starting to work against them and time isn't on their side.
What can we do about it? We can stop counting the years and start counting the hours we spend with them. Jean began to recall stories to our group about the year she was born. Hard times and The Great Depression fell on the 1930s and her mother took on boarders, fed them from the garden and had time to deliver a child while taking care of the other siblings. I tried picturing the scenario and was tired just thinking about it. Jean said her mother never complained and always remained upbeat at least as far as the family or boarders ever knew. I want to spend time with those who have witnessed over eight decades of American life and have lived through the changing times. I'm coming to the realization that those who can best adapt to the changes are those who seem to sail through the years with little trouble; those who stopped counting and started living.
Jean uses e-mail and Facebook as does my mother who is a young 80. Bill never stops moving. He uses a cane, but never misses his lodge meetings and gatherings. He is always visiting with someone on a daily basis. He checks on us all in case we need something. My friend Charlie Landsettle led our church service as a layreader and did a fantastic job.
Of course I have many friends who have had no other option, mainly because of mental illnesses,than to have their loved ones placed in housing where they can be taken care of on a daily basis. There are no words to describe the pain that causes a family, yet many times I see their loved ones take on new roles in their new living quarters. They become the helpers and keepers of those in need and find new purpose.
If we must count, lets count the blessings these folks bring to our lives. It doesn't matter where they have to live only that they are living and that we can spend time with them and still learn from them. I have a friend whose mother isn't sure whom everyone is and in her mind she is a young gal living on a farm. It's tough for the family, yet, through all the fog and mist there has arose a laughter in us all that just goes to the farm with her and makes sure she's alright. New memories are being created and more time is being spent together around her. She has, without even knowing, forced everyone around her to slow down and spend more time together. Its been a tough,yet,good thing.
I can't imagine what would have happened to me if people such as Jean, Bill, Charlie and many others hadn't taken time for me. It did take a village to raise me. I can only hope that someday when I'm 80-plus years someone can say I helped them in their life. If that happens, I will have lived my purpose. We are here in this world to be mentors and to bring joy, love and happiness to others. The greatest gift we can give to these octogenarians is to pick up where they left off and to continue in their footsteps.
Many times we have to move the mist and wait for the rain to stop falling to realize we have many blessings yet to gather. Lets go count the hours with our friends and family and stop using the excuse we don't have time. What's more important - a reality television show or the reality that we can make a difference in people's lives.